Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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