I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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