haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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