Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
