The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
