brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
