The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
40s are totally the cure
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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