I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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