I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
