i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
