I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
