Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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