Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
