i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
