Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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