As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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