I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
