also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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