You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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