I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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