is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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