my mouth tastes like poor choices
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize