I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay