yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.