The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
