If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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