It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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