My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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