I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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