why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
