Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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