after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
