Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
