So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
