did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
