Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The uberlube is also flammable
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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