is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
