I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize