i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize