So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
