your thong is hanging out like whoa
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
