Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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