i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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