Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
