Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
