you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
