im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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