you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
