Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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