Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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