My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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