So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
