let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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