I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
