Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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