Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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