Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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