i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
