So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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