Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
