His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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