For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
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