I heard we made out
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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