8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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