new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
