I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize