it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
