I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
