I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
smell my finger.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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