i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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